


How would you feel

by larry_is_real_13



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-10
Updated: 2020-10-10
Packaged: 2021-03-07 20:34:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,398
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26923702
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/larry_is_real_13/pseuds/larry_is_real_13
Summary: "You burnt the toast again!""Sorry, sorry. I was just...""Watching Louis?""... yeah"Harry watches. Which goes alright, until he starts noticing.
Relationships: Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson
Comments: 4
Kudos: 60





	How would you feel

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, this is just something I wrote so enjoy! Please comment and leave kudos if you enjoy, it makes me happy 🥺

Harry watches Louis walking up the path. He's been finding himself watching Louis quite a lot recently. Watching Louis make tea, watching Louis talk to Liam, watching Louis. Louis is quite a good person to watch. He's easy to look at. 

Like, they are best friends, right? It's normal to want to look him. Normal. A word Harry keeps repeating in his head over and over as he just _watches_ Louis. 

So there's the watching, yes. But there's also the jealously. The burning need to have Louis close to him at all times. It almost brings him physical pain whenever he sees Louis flirting with some random girl, an ache in his heart that can only be cured with a hug from Louis himself. 

But he just wants to protect his friend from getting hurt. It's normal. 

Normal. 

When it's just watching, it's manageable. It's easy to ignore. It hurts, sure, a dull ache whenever Louis isn't there, but it's manageable. 

But then the _noticing_ starts. 

Unlike the watching, the noticing is impossible to ignore. 

He notices the way Louis' blue eyes crinkle in the corners when he smiles. The way his cheeks slightly redden whenever Harry calls him boobear. The way he sticks his tongue out slightly when he's making tea. The way he puts his hand on his stomach when he's singing the high notes. The way he pulls Liam aside whenever Harry walks into the room. 

There's that too. Liam. Louis and Harry are meant to be best friends, but Louis has been doing nothing but talking to Liam lately. It hurts. 

Honestly, it all just hurts. 

And it's getting hard to think about anything but Louis. Laughing with Louis, singing with Louis, holding Louis, kissi- no. No. He's just a friend. A best friend that Harry has fallen a little to far in friend love with. A best friend that he needs by his side. All the time. 

So it's hard when Louis is gone, 'cause Harry misses him. But it's harder when Louis is there. 'Cause Harry isn't sure if he's making up the lingering glances, the way Louis snuggles closer into his side when they are cuddling on the couch, and the slight brushes of hands. 

When he's with Louis, he can't trick his brain into thinking about anything else. It's just LOUIS LOUIS LOUIS. 

He just wants to get closer to him, all the time. 

As a friend. 

That's it. 

Harry sighs and stands up, ignoring his shaking hands and going into the kitchen to make something to eat. 

As he's waiting for his toast, he sees Louis and Liam play fighting in the garden. Louis is completely soaked with water from the hose, and he looks amazing. 

Harry tries so, so hard just to watch. But before he can stop himself, he's noticing again. He notices the way Louis flicks his hair out of his bright blue eyes, and he way he gracefully dodges under Liam's arm. 

He is so caught up in noticing Louis, that he forgets about the toast. 

Until Zayn comes in and comments on the burning smell. 

. . . 

"You burnt the toast again!" Zayn groans, walking into the kitchen to a burning smell for the fifth time that week. 

"Sorry, sorry. I was just..." 

"Watching Louis?" the unspoken 'again' lingers in the air as Zayn follows Harry's gaze through the glass door to where Louis is sitting on the couch, playing video games. 

" ... yeah" 

Zayn sighs, and throws out the toast before moving in front of Harry, blocking his view. 

"Haz, mate. We gotta talk about Louis"

It's Harry's turn to sigh. 

"What about him, Zayn" 

"I just... Harry, do you like him?"

Harry freezes. 'Cause _like_ doesn't even begin to cover how he feels. 

"Yes, of course. He's my best friend" he snaps, trying to move away from Zayn and to the safety of his own room. 

"HARRY!" Zayn shouts, frustrated. 

Harry looks down, tears welling in his eyes. He can't help it, whenever someone yells at him he just cries. 

"Hey. Hey Harry, I'm sorry. It's just... look, I can tell it's a sensitive topic. But if you wanna talk, I'm here. Ok?"

"Yeah. Yeah, ok" 

"Now, let's go play video games with Lou" Zayn pulls him into the living room before he can protest, and for the rest of the afternoon he finds himself laughing and forgetting. 

Except that whenever he looks to the side, he sees Louis. 

Notices Louis. 

And he wishes Louis would notice him too.

Harry wakes up on the couch, head pounding and back aching. He sits up slowly, rubbing his eyes and looking around him. It's light outside, clearly morning, but he can't see anyone else around. 

He pulls out his phone. It's 8am. 

Shit. 

They have a recording session at 8.30. And he needs to get ready and leave. The others are probably already gone and - 

"Hazza! You're up!"

Louis' voice cuts through his thoughts. His voice is quite beautiful, Harry thinks. He likes it. 

"Harry?" 

Harry jumps, taken by surprise yet again. 

"Hey Lou" he says sleepily, stretching his arms out. 

"We have to get going. You were so tired last night that you just fell asleep on the couch, and none of us had the heart to wake you up"

Oh. That's why he feels like he's actually slept. 

He normally shares a room with Louis, and it's impossible to sleep when he's _right there._ So yeah, Harry's been pretty tired lately. 

Harry gets ready quickly, rushing around the house and putting his shirt on backwards. Louis notices straight away, and Harry fixes it, blushing and embarrassed. 

Until he realizes. 

Louis noticed. 

. . . 

The recording session goes smoothly. When they arrive, everyone is sitting around talking and waiting for them. Management aren't exactly happy that they are late, and Harry has to force himself to say you instead of Lou in Little Things, but it's fine. 

Plus, it's not like he _loves_ Louis. They're just friends! He just really, really likes being around him. He just wants to be friends. 

Friends. 

"Friends"

Everyone looks up at Harry, who turns red. 

"Uhm. I was just like... yeah. Thinking"

Niall saves him "Yeah, me and Harry had this song idea..."

The song doesn't make it into the album. But for something Niall thought up on the spot, it was pretty good. 

. . .

The boys end up having a relaxing night in, watching a movie. A day recording always takes it out of them, and they don't have the energy to do anything else. 

Harry sits down, and almost instantly Louis is at his side, snuggling into him. Harry exhales, trying to keep his heart steady. Why does Louis make him like this?

It must just be that they are really good friends. 

Just friends. 

They just have this _closeness_ that none of the other boys have. But, it's like. It's just a friendship. Harry just needs to clear his head. Maybe find a girl. 

But that doesn't feel all that appealing right now. I mean, he definitely likes girls. He's _straight_. 

He already has Louis, why would he need a girl? _Because you and Louis aren't dating, idiot._

Louis is tucked into his side, and it's making Harry nervous. Then, just when he thinks he can manage to stay calm, Louis grabs his hand and holds it gently. Harry jumps up so fast it makes him dizzy. 

"I um... I don't feel great. I'm gonna, yeah. Outside" he manages to choke out, then quickly walks out the room and into the garden. 

. . . 

Harry sits on the step, his whole body shaking. His heart is beating so fast that he can hear it, loud in his ears. 

Louis always does this to him. Makes him so nervous and wanting to get closer still. He doesn't understand why he needs Louis so much. 

Cause it hurts, whether Louis is with him or not. Just knowing Louis, that hurts. Cause Louis is the most amazing boy in the world. He's funny, kind (to Harry at least), and so damn beautiful. 

Maybe. 

Maybe he doesn't just like Louis as a friend. 

Maybe it's more. 

So later that night, Harry decides to talk to Zayn. 

. . . 

"Harry, what's up!" Zayn says when Harry walks into his room. 

"I... can I talk to you?"

"Yeah, of course mate! I said anytime, didn't I?"

Harry sits down next to Zayn on the bed.

"It's about Louis" Harry sighs "I- I think I might like him... more"

Zayn smiles "Yeah, I know. It's kinda hard to miss"

Harry takes a shaky breath. 

"I just... don't know what to do. I don't even know... I like girls, right. I do. I just, I just like Louis"

"That's ok. You don't need labels, they aren't important. But... you could be bi?"

"Yeah. Yeah maybe"

"Look, Haz. I think you should tell him how you feel"

"But... what if he stops talking to me?" Harry knows Louis won't feel the same, but he needs his friendship like he needs to breathe. 

"That's not gonna happen. Trust me on this one"

"I will"

"This is stupid. We already know each other" Niall grumbles, sitting down reluctantly. 

"But there are things we don't know about each other! C'mon, it might be fun" 

"Liam, nothing about this is _fun_ "

The boys have decided to play a game where they pick questions and ask them to someone in the group. Well, they didn't really _decide,_ as such. More... management thought it would be a good idea. 

So here they are. Liam pulls out the questions and they start. 

"Ok, this one's for Harry. What embarrasses you the most, or what's your most embarrassing moment?"

Harry looks over at Louis, catching his gaze. He wants to say every time he makes a fool of himself in front of Louis, but...

"I think you all know that one" Niall cracks up.

Harry see's Louis' lip quirk up (not that he was looking at Louis' lips or anything), Liam chuckles, and then all of the boys are rolling around laughing, remembering the look on Harry's face when the tampon hit him.

"Ok, maybe this won't be so bad" Niall gives in, still laughing. He snatches the questions from Liam and reads the next one "Liam, what's your biggest fear"

Liam groans, hiding his face in a pillow. "No, you'll make fun of me! This game is stupid, lets do something else"

"But Liam, there are things we don't know about each other!" Niall smirks, repeating Liam's words from earlier. 

Liam mumbles something incoherent. 

"What was that Li? I couldn't hear you" Louis smirks. Harry loves his smirk. 

"Yeah Liam, your gonna have to speak up" Zayn adds, making Louis laugh. Harry wishes he thought to say that. He wants to make Louis laugh. His jealousy is soon forgotten when Liam answers. 

"Spoons. I'm scared of spoons" 

"SPOONS!" Harry laughs "What's so scary about spoons?" 

That earns a chuckle from Louis, and Harry feels weirdly proud of himself. 

"They just freak me out, ok!? Leave me alone" Liam says, but he's laughing despite himself. 

They go through all of the questions, until there are only a couple left. 

"Ok, Louis" Zayn says "What keeps you up at night"

Harry looks over at Louis to see him tense. 

"I- you know what, I'm tired. I'm gonna go to bed" Louis chokes out, and stands up. 

"But... it's 1pm?" Harry barely hears Niall speak. His eyes are fixed on Louis back, Louis walking away from him. Even though he's not really walking away from _Harry_ , it feels like it. 

Liam stands up and rushes after him, and the room is left silent. 

. . . 

After sitting in silence with Zayn and Niall on the couch for five minutes, trying desperately to hold back tears, Harry stands up. 

"I'm gonna... I'm tired"

"Haz..." Zayn starts. 

"Zayn. Leave it. I'm going to bed"

He walks out of the room and down the hall, pausing at Louis' room. The door is open, and he can hear crying. 

His curiosity gets the better of him and he peers into the room. 

Louis' back is facing him, and he's holding on to Liam, sobbing into his shoulder. Harry's heart breaks. He just wants to make him happy again. 

"It's fucked up, isn't it" Louis whispers, and Harry can barely hear him. 

"No mate. It's not" Liam looks up as he speaks, and he locks eyes with Harry. He shakes his head minutely, and Harry quickly leaves, his heart aching. 

. . . 

Harry sits on his bed, staring at the wall. He hates seeing Louis sad. 

He hates that Louis doesn't come to him when he's sad anymore. 

During the X-factor, whenever Louis was having an off day the first thing he would do was go to Harry. Harry would just hold him, no questions asked. But maybe that wasn't enough. Maybe he should've done more. 

He really loved comforting Louis. He wasn't sure if it was because it made Louis happier, or because it meant he had all of Louis' attention, or because Louis was _so damn pretty_ when he cried, but he loved it. 

He missed it. 

"Haz?"

Harry looked up to see Zayn in the doorway. 

"Hey Zayn" he smiles weakly. 

"Haz, you need to do something about this thing with Lou. It's killing me to see you this upset. Hell, it's killing me to see _him_ this upset" 

"I'm scared" he whispers "what if-"

Zayn cuts him off "No. Put us all out of our misery and grow a pair"

Harry sighs "I will. Just... not yet"

. . . 

He actually does have a nap, he's just so exhausted. When he wakes up he is really hungry, so he goes to the kitchen to get a snack. Louis is already there, his eyes red from crying. 

"Lou! Are you ok? I-"

"God Harry, can you give it a rest! You always want to know what's wrong, where I'm going, what I'm doing, what I'm thinking. You're so _needy_. Can't you just leave me alone?"

Harry steps back, blinking rapidly so he doesn't cry in front of Louis. For a second, he thinks he sees a look of regret flit across Louis' face, but it's gone so fast he's not sure if he made it up. 

He turns and leaves the room, the need for food long forgotten. 

. . . 

Harry's head hurts. 

He's been crying for an hour, and he can't stop. 

Louis was right, he's way too needy. But he can't help it. He just wants Louis all the time. 

And he hate seeing Louis upset. He just wants to fix whatever's wrong and see him smile again. 

He hates Louis being mad at him. And he made Louis mad. It's his fault and now Louis hates him. 

A sob escapes his mouth and the door swings open so hard it hits the wall. 

"Harry, Haz, I'm so sorry. Shit. I'm so, so sorry" Louis rushes over to Harry, taking him in his arms. 

Harry buries his face in Louis' chest and cries, his shoulders shaking. 

"I'm so sorry, so fucking sorry Haz. I shouldn't have snapped at you like that"

Harry sniffs, and looks up.

Fuck, Louis' beautiful. 

His eyes are bright blue and shining, and his high cheekbones flush when he notices Harry staring at him. 

"It's fine. I was being too needy. I'll leave you alone from now on"

"No! That's not what I want at all. I really like spending time with you. I'm just stressed at the moment, I didn't mean to take it out on you"

Harry nods, tears still falling down his face. 

"Hazza, please stop crying. I never want to see you hurt"

"Lou, 'm tired" Harry snuggles further into Louis.

Louis just holds him closer, and they fall asleep still clinging on to each other. 

. . . 

"Harry, have you seen- OH. I'll um, I'll leave"

Harry opens his eyes to see Niall leaving the room quickly, slamming the door shut. 

Louis chuckles and pulls him closer. 

Oh. 

Louis. 

"Morning. Sleep well?"

Harry blushes, hiding his face. 

"Yeah. Thanks" he whispers, still half asleep. 

"We should probably go and talk to Niall, huh? He seems to have gotten the wrong idea"

Harry nods, disappointment setting in. Cause of course, Louis holding him until he fell asleep didn't mean anything. 

And fuck, he shouldn't care this much. But he does. Honestly, it scares him how much he cares. 

Cause he knows he's only gonna get hurt. 

. . . 

After they explain what happened to a confused Niall, they all decide to have a water fight. It may or may not have been Harry's idea, cause he may or may not have really wanted to see Louis soaked with water again. 

They laugh and run around the garden, basking in the freedom of no cameras and no rules. The hose comes out, and within minutes everyone is soaked from head to toe with water. 

Harry definitely doesn't glance over at Louis multiple times. He definitely doesn't try and position himself to be as close to Louis as possible. 

The sun beating down on them becomes unbearable, and shirts are coming off. Harry looks over at Louis. Not that he wants to see Louis take his shirt off. 

But he doesn't get a chance to, because Louis runs inside, mumbling excuses as he goes. But Harry notices the tears in his eyes. 

Liam quickly puts his shirt back on and starts to follow. But Harry is already there, pulling his shirt over his head. 

"Haz, mate. Let me"

Harry turns around "No. I'm going in there. I'm gonna talk to him"

Liam sighs, but turns back to Zayn and Niall. The screams at the cold water get quieter as Harry walks into the house, looking for Louis. 

He finds him, sitting on the couch, his head in his hands and his shoulders shaking. 

Harry sits down next to him, pulling Louis into his side. 

"Lou. What's wrong"

Louis shakes his head and grabs onto Harry's shirt. 

"Don't leave me" Louis whispers softly. 

"I'm not gonna leave you. Can you please tell me what's wrong?"

"It's stupid, I..." he trails off, looking up helplessly at Harry. 

"If it's made you upset, it's not stupid"

"It's just- you guys are all so bloody _fit_ ,you know. You've heard what people say about me. I'm the ugly one in the band. You are all fucking gorgeous and I'm here with my tummy and stupid face"

"Lou. You are stunning, ok? Those people have no idea what they are talking about. And your tummy is the cutest thing in the world"

Louis blushes "Thanks Haz. It's just hard to be self confident when I'm around guys like you"

"Louis, you are the best looking in the band by far. Promise. You're bloody beautiful"

Louis smiles, and hides his face in Harry's chest again. 

Harry could be wrong, but he thinks he hears Louis whisper:

"Just not enough"

. . . 

The rest of the day is spent inside, with Louis curled into Harry's side and Harry desperately trying to calm his pounding heart.

Louis doesn't say anything, but Harry is convinced he can feel his shaking hands.

They sit there, holding each other tight, until Niall walks in. Harry smiles, happy to see him.

"GUYS! Can you not? You guys just need to date already, I swear. Or are you already, and you just haven't told me?" Niall laughs.

The smile falls from Harry's face when he feels Louis tense up in his arms.

"We aren't _dating_ , Niall. That's stupid" Louis stands up and leaves Harry sitting on his own, feeling his eyes fill with tears for what feels like the 1000th time that week.

Cause yeah, the idea of them dating is stupid. Louis is right.

But maybe Harry likes the idea of stupid.

. . .

"Niall, you need to stop making comments like that. Louis has been coming to me crying every day for the past week cause of things you've said about him and Harry"

Harry is standing outside Liam's room. He was just going to get water, he didn't plan to eavesdrop. But Liam, Zayn and Niall were all talking, and it was just so _tempting_ to listen in.

Liam keeps talking "It's just so hard on him! Just until he gets his shit together. Then you can make stupid jokes all you like"

"But why is it a problem? Surely you can all see what I'm talking about. And even if there's nothing there, it's just a joke! I just want to have a bit of fun. It's been so _sad_ here for the past few weeks"

"It's a problem because it's upsetting Louis. That's all you need to know. Louis is hurting, and you need to stop!"

Harry can't see them, but he can hear muffled whispers, and then footsteps. He quickly jumps away from the door and tiptoes to the kitchen.

He's about halfway down the hall when he hears "Harry?"

Shit.

He turns around slowly. Liam and Zayn are standing there, and Harry can see Niall walking back to his room.

"Did you hear any of that?" Liam asks, looking concerned.

"No, I'm just um- getting some water"

Liam raises his eyebrows. He looks at Harry for a moment, then grabs Zayn and pulls him outside.

Harry gets his water and goes back to bed, replaying what he heard in his head. Sure, Niall was being annoying, but why is Louis upset about it? It doesn't make sense. Unless...

No. Louis doesn't like Harry like that. It's just not possible.

. . .

Harry wakes up in the morning to Zayn pouring water over his face.

"Zayn!" He splutters, wiping water out of his eyes "What the hell!"

"You weren't waking up! It's like, 11am. And I'm bored"

Harry rolls his eyes "So you thought you would drench me with water?"

"Yes! I'm glad you understand"

"Idiot" Harry mutters as he climbs out of bed "I really hate you, you know that right?"

"No, you love me"

Harry shakes his head, smiling "Come on, let's go eat something"

"We already ate Harry. Did you not hear the part where I said it was 11am?"

"Well I'm hungry. I want food"

"Did someone say food?" Niall peeks around the door "Cause I could do with some food. I'm starving!"

"Niall. You just ate. Like five minutes ago" Zayn says.

"So! I want my third breakfast"

"THIRD?!?!" Zayn yells after Niall, who is already headed to the kitchen. He turns to Harry "Third?"

Harry shrugs, and follows Niall.

. . .

Later that day Harry is sitting outside on the grass. He's reading when he feels Louis sit down beside him. He doesn't look, but he can tell who it is, cause he can always tell when Louis is near him.

"Hey Haz" Louis says.

"Hey Lou" Harry frowns. Louis is still sitting away from him and not tucked under his arm like normal.

Louis doesn't say anything, and they sit in silence for a few minutes. The sun is setting, and Harry admires it. He would much rather admire Louis, but he's not sure if he's allowed to right now.

"Lou, come here" Harry lifts his arm up, and Louis moves closer, snuggling into Harry's side and sighing.

"Lou, can I ask you something?" The words are leaving Harry's mouth before he can stop them.

"Yeah, anytime. You know that right?"

"Yeah, yeah. I know. I just- I don't know, it's stupid" He tries to backtrack.

"Nope. You have to tell me now"

"Ok. I will. I just... do you ever think. Like. Do you ever think you might... want to... do you ever want to be with a boy? Like the same way you want to be with girls"

It's silent for a few moments, but just in those few moments Harry manages to think of every single way this could go wrong.

"I'm sorry, that was stupid, I mean -"

"No. It's not stupid. And to answer your question..." Louis buries his head into Harry's chest, suddenly shy "No, I don't think about being with a boy in the same way I want to with girls, but only because I don't really think about girls in the way I think you mean"

"Oh" Harry tries to hide his smile.

"Don't tell anyone, please. Only Liam knows, and I don't want people to think of me differently"

"I won't! I promise. I would never to that to you"

Louis nods "and what about you?"

"What?" Harry asks, trying to stop his brain going in circles of _Louis_ _likes boys, Louis likes boys._

"You know, do you ever want to be with a boy"

Oh. Harry forgot he would have to answer as well.

"I- yeah. Sometimes"

Louis hums, playing with the hem of Harry's shirt. Harry's heart is racing, and he plays with Louis' hair, so he has something to do with his hands.

They sit in a somewhat uncomfortable silence for bit, until Harry can't bear it anymore.

"Lou?" He whispers softly.

"Yeah?" Louis whispers back.

"I- um. Ok. Shit" He can't even put together a sentence.

"Haz, what's wrong?" Louis starts to look up, but Harry pulls him closer, so his face is hidden. He knows he won't be able to do this with Louis' bright blue eyes making him lose all confidence.

"Lou" He breathes out "How would you feel..."

"How would I feel..." Louis prompts, and Harry closes his eyes, taking a deep breath. He has to do this now or he never will.

"How would you feel," he pauses "If I told you I loved you?"

There. He said it. It's done. He said it, and there's no going back.

"I-" Louis' voice sounds small "You love me?"

Harry's so scared he thinks he might throw up "Yeah. I- I really do. I'm sorry, I didn't want to ruin anything and-"

"How long?" Louis interrupts.

"What?"

"How long have you... loved me"

"I... I don't know. Probably since the start. I just didn't want to admit it to myself"

"Harry" Louis breathes out "You should've said something. Then I could've done this a lot sooner"

"Done what?"

Louis doesn't answer, just moves up so their lips are almost touching.

"Lou?" Harry whispers, unsure.

"As much I love seeing you all nervous and adorable, I would really like it if you would just kiss me already"

So Harry does.

And it's better than he could've ever imagined.

Louis lips are so, so soft, and all Harry can think is _Louis Louis Louis_. He could kiss Louis for hours.

Holy shit, he's kissing Louis. And he never wants to stop.

But he does, pulling back slightly and looking into Louis' beautiful eyes.

"I love you too, you idiot"

That's all he needs to hear. He pulls Louis back in and kisses him, feeling Louis melt into him and Louis' hands in his hair and just Louis.

His Louis.

He pulls Louis into a hug, smiling like an idiot. His mouth is starting to hurt from smiling so hard, but he doesn't care because Louis.

Louis loves him back.

. . . 

Harry and Louis are curled up on the couch together, pretending to watch a movie but really just watching each other.

It's been one week since they confessed their love, one wonderful week during which Louis has barely left Harry's side. 

It's been one week since they walked inside, Harry gripping Louis' hand tight as if making sure he wouldn't run away. It's been one week since Niall walked in on them kissing on the couch and said nothing but 'took you long enough'. 

It's been one week since Harry saw Zayn and Liam exchange triumphant glances when they saw Harry and Louis curled up together, similar to how they used to be but so, so different. 

It's been one week, but it feels like a lifetime. 

It's like all of Harry's dreams coming true at once, and it's kind of overwhelming. It's overwhelming, but he's so happy he could cry. 

Except. 

Him and Louis haven't talked about what this means for them. He's not sure what they are at this point, because Louis probably just wants a fling, something to pass the time. 

Harry wants so much more.

He wants long walks in the park and nights spent talking about hopes and dreams. 

He wants dates, from the first awkward, nervous date, to the 10th, comfortable date and he never ever wants there to be a last date. 

He wants to meet Louis' family, not as his friend but as his boyfriend. 

He loves Louis so much it hurts, and he's scared he's fallen a little harder than Louis has. 

. . . 

Two weeks later and Harry is more unsure than even. Him and Louis aren't together nearly as much, cause Louis spends most of his time going shopping and 'out' with Liam. 

Actually, Harry is a little more sure than before. Just not in the right way. He's almost positive that Louis doesn't want to be with him, and that he's already fed up with this and is going out to find someone else. 

Harry finally breaks when Louis stops cuddling with him. 

"God Lou, can you just tell me you don't want me instead of leading me on!"

Louis freezes, already halfway out the door. 

"What do you mean" He says slowly, and Harry blinks back tears at his cold tone. 

"You've been ignoring me. I just... I don't know what to do here. I thought..."

Louis pauses, opens his mouth to say something. 

Then his phone goes off, and he's out of the room, slamming the door in Harry's face. 

. . . 

Louis doesn't come back that night, or the day after. 

Harry almost doesn't hear him come back, but the door creaks and Louis swears. 

Harry slowly sits up on the couch where he fell asleep last night- or this night? He has no idea what time it is. 

All he knows is Louis is sneaking into the house so he doesn't wake Harry. 

So he doesn't have to talk to Harry. 

Harry sighs. He may as well pretend to be sleeping so Louis can get past and to his room without any awkwardness. 

But instead of footsteps going away, Harry can hear them getting closer, and he can feel Louis right next to him. 

He almost stops breathing, but then remember he's supposed to be asleep. 

Louis' hand comes up to brush his hair out of his eyes, and he gently kisses his nose. 

"I love you so much" Louis whispers, and then Harry can't feel him near anymore. 

"Lou, wait"

Harry half expects Louis to leave again, but he comes back, sitting awkwardly on the small part of the couch that Harry isn't taking up. 

"Oops" Harry moves back, giving Louis more room. 

"Hi" Louis breathes out. 

As confused and upset as he is, Harry can't stop the smile creeping across his face, remembering the day they met just two years ago. 

Louis smiles too, and Harry thinks it may be the most beautiful thing he has ever seen. 

"Harry, I'm so sorry for the past few weeks. I just..." Louis trails off, tears welling in his eyes. 

Harry wants to comfort him so bad, but he can't breathe because _Louis doesn't like him, he thinks it was a mistake, he doesn't want to be friends._

"The thing is Harry I'm so in love with you. I can't... I don't want this to not mean anything. I don't want this if it's cause of convenience, cause we are together all the time so we may as well. I just... I just want you" 

Louis takes a deep breath, and then he's crying and Harry's heart mends and breaks at the same time because _Louis loves him as much as he loves Louis_ but _Louis is crying._

"No, Lou. Don't cry, don't cry" Harry pulls Louis into his side and Louis melts into him as Harry whispers into his hair, _I love you I love you I love you._

After Louis has calmed down, Harry pulls back slightly to look into Louis' shining blue eyes. 

"Louis William Tomlinson, will you be my boyfriend?"

"Yes" Louis looks at him for a minute before grabbing his face and kissing him "Yes, yes yes _yes_ "

"I love you so much"

"I love you too Haz. Forever"


End file.
